Ageing parents? How to raise the topic of their ‘changing living needs’

Watching your parents age can be difficult. For most of your life you would’ve seen them in the position of caring for you and your needs. But that will likely tip the other way when they reach retirement age. You may now find yourself in a much more supportive role, ensuring they are now safe and taken care of.

It’s a vulnerable time, where everyone will be feeling unsure about what comes next, as well as how to make the right decisions for the now, and the future. And while the discussion of moving somewhere more suited to a retirees lifestyle could be difficult, it’s almost inevitable. 

Here’s a few helpful hints on how to make sure this important and sensitive conversation results in a positive and encouraging outcome.     

 

Choose the right time and place

Ensure you pick a time and a place where everyone feels comfortable. Perhaps in their home, without distractions or interruptions. This is a talk you don’t want to rush, so it’s a good idea to not have anything else planned too close before or after. 

Make sure there is not too much else going on in your life or theirs, as it might just be too much to deal with all at once. If you’re going through a busy period at work, or they are stressed and worried about something else going on, it may pay to wait a week or two – just to get the timing right. 

 

Be proactive and patient with your approach

While you may wish to put this conversation off as long as possible, it really is something that benefits from being done without the pressure of having to make decisions immediately. 

It’s important to be positive when broaching the subject, and to have plenty of patience. Depending on the situation, it may be quite difficult for your parents to gather their thoughts and you may need to give them time and space to process ‘what’s next’?   

 

Prepare by researching options

So you can go into the discussion well-prepared, do your due diligence when it comes to what options are available. By providing your parents with some possible choices that suit their needs, you can help allay any worries or apprehensions they may have. 

Retirement villages have changed a lot in the last 20 years, so it’s very likely they aren’t even aware of the possibilities and will be really happy to know that a move can be such an enjoyable one.   

 

Ensure you listen and respect their concerns

It’s so important that you listen to your parents once you’ve started the conversation with them. They need to feel heard and respected in order to get the best outcome from the talk. 

Not everything has to be resolved in one chat, so make a point of really hearing and understanding everything they say. Even repeating back what they have told you can be helpful, so they know you’ve taken on board their fears and concerns. Only then can you work together to move onto the next stage.  

 

Understand their needs

What we see as someone’s needs, likes and dislikes may not always be the complete picture. So we shouldn’t just make assumptions of what’s required by your parents, now and in the years to come. 

They have probably already talked to each other about what retirement will look like for them, so could already have a detailed plan. Get really clear on these things and assure them that you’ll be doing your best to help achieve those wishes for them.  

 

Lead with empathy and avoid pressure

Putting yourself in your parents shoes will go a long way to help you approach this new season with the utmost empathy and compassion. Facing older age doesn’t come easy to most, and thinking about a ‘final move’ to where they will possibly live out the rest of their days could be really confronting. 

Again, this is not the right time to force the issue or make any firm decisions. It’s more about starting the journey and navigating the next steps.   

 

Ask others for support and advice 

If this is the first time you’ve had to have this kind of discussion, then go easy on yourself too. Have you got a close family member or friend who can come along to support you? Or perhaps you know someone who has been through this, and who can offer some words of wisdom. 

Don’t be afraid to reach out to the professionals as well – most towns and cities have aged care providers who are more than happy to share their expertise and advice. In other words, you don’t have to do this alone.  

 

Try to focus on the positives

The topic of ageing is often a negative one. But it doesn’t always have to be, as there are many wonderful things about living in a retirement village. 

From safety and security, to a close-knit, friendly community, enjoying onsite amenities and receiving appropriate care and support, it can actually be about removing a lot of the stress and anxiety that comes with growing older. And if you’re able to get your parents to focus on all the positives that could be, the transition could be a lot easier for them.  

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If you’d like to find out more about the lifestyle, community, services, and how we help people to settle in here at Greenview Park Village, we’d love to hear from you.